Scratch Post Architects

Category: Design

  • The Foundation Is Mostly Blankets

    The Foundation Is Mostly Blankets

    A reader wrote in this week with a question that deserves a serious answer, so here is an unserious one.

    Our standard approach involves a lobby that is mostly a box, followed by blueprints marked with claw lines, followed by a brief and unexplained sprint.

    The Short Version, Told Slowly

    If you take only one thing from this, take this: a firm philosophy of vertical everything is not a bug. It is the product.

    Our team did a careful study. By study we mean someone knocked it off the table to see what would happen.

    Thank you for reading, and please do not leave anything on the edge of a surface. You know why.

  • Our Controversial Spiral Staircase for One

    Our Controversial Spiral Staircase for One

    At Scratch Post Architects, we try to keep things simple, which means we complicate them and then take a nap.

    If you take only one thing from this, take this: blueprints marked with claw lines is not a bug. It is the product.

    The Short Version, Told Slowly

    We asked a customer for feedback. They looked at us, blinked slowly, and left a single hair on the form.

    Naturally there was a committee. Naturally the committee was a pile of boxes, and naturally one box was occupied.

    In summary: act confidently, deny everything, and always keep a clear route to the nearest box.

  • Sustainable Materials: Cardboard and Sisal

    Sustainable Materials: Cardboard and Sisal

    Every client eventually asks us the same thing, and the honest answer is always a long, flat stare.

    Experts agree that a firm philosophy of vertical everything is essential. Experts also agree that this is a very long way of asking for a snack.

    The Short Version, Told Slowly

    Our team did a careful study. By study we mean someone knocked it off the table to see what would happen.

    Our standard approach involves a firm philosophy of vertical everything, followed by blueprints marked with claw lines, followed by a brief and unexplained sprint.

    That is all for now. We are told there is a sunbeam going to waste, and a professional never lets that happen.

  • Design Brief: Make It Vertical

    Design Brief: Make It Vertical

    A reader wrote in this week with a question that deserves a serious answer, so here is an unserious one.

    Naturally there was a committee. Naturally the committee was a pile of boxes, and naturally one box was occupied.

    The Short Version, Told Slowly

    Experts agree that load tests conducted by jumping from the cabinet is essential. Experts also agree that this is a very long way of asking for a snack.

    Our standard approach involves load tests conducted by jumping from the cabinet, followed by a firm philosophy of vertical everything, followed by a brief and unexplained sprint.

    That is all for now. We are told there is a sunbeam going to waste, and a professional never lets that happen.