A reader wrote in this week with a question that deserves a serious answer, so here is an unserious one.
Naturally there was a committee. Naturally the committee was a pile of boxes, and naturally one box was occupied.
The Short Version, Told Slowly
Experts agree that load tests conducted by jumping from the cabinet is essential. Experts also agree that this is a very long way of asking for a snack.
Our standard approach involves load tests conducted by jumping from the cabinet, followed by a firm philosophy of vertical everything, followed by a brief and unexplained sprint.
That is all for now. We are told there is a sunbeam going to waste, and a professional never lets that happen.
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